The best relationship I've ever had

A lot has been happening recently in my life.

It feels as if all of the loose ends are being tied off, which of course creates room for new random threads to be woven into the mix.

First of all, I decided that I finally needed to let go of my ex girlfriend so that I can move forward with my life. However, allow me to explain first what I mean by letting go. In the dictionary according to Ali, letting go means freeing oneself from past grievances, letting go of any guilt or pain from the past, and most importantly letting go of any and all expectations for the future. Apparently the way to do this for myself was to tell her that I still have feelings for her. Whether or not this was a smart decision remains to be seen, but I wouldn't change my actions for the world because it gave me exactly what I was looking for: closure.

I did not reach out to her with the goal or thought of getting back together, because I still remember all of the perfectly valid reasons we broke up. It was simply an acknowledgement and release of emotions; catharsis, if you will. She was my first love, which is not something that will ever change or lessen with time. She'll always be someone important to me for that reason, and as soon as I accepted this fact a weight lifted off of my metaphorical shoulders.

Ironically enough, the minute that I let her know this, I found myself in the best relationship I've ever had in my entire life...

...with myself.

 

I would say these events occurred simultaneously, for two reasons: a) I am a very honest person who decided to be brutally honest with the one person I always avoided...myself, and b) I am the type of person who believes that a moment should never pass without the people you love knowing how much they mean to you. So I accomplished both of these things in the same breath, thus living up to my own expectations and ideals, and forming a relationship with myself built on trust, respect, and compassion. 

As cliche as this sounds, it really is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

As a result, I've decided to take myself out at least once a week to do activities that I enjoy. What's first on the list? A very shnazzy art gallery about a man who photographs himself in pink tutus around the world to support his wife's fight against breast cancer.

Bob Carey: Ballerina 

After that, I'd like to take myself out to see The Perks of Being A Wallflower, because it stars Emma Watson and looks absolutely amazing.

The best part about these activities is that I'll be spending quality time with the one person who's guaranteed to be there for me through thick and thin, who won't ever abandon or leave me, and who will probably end up hurting me in the long run but will also do her best by me: myself.

No, I haven't gone crazy. Or if I have, maybe everyone should go a little crazy. Because it's honestly fulfilling, and in my mind essential to actually have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with another person.

Speaking of which, this post is going to be a little short because I need to be kind to my body and get a good night's rest, so I'll wrap it up.

I'm not encouraging anyone to get in touch with their ex and profess their love, nor even stay friends with their ex. If that's the type of person that you are, go for it. If you're the type of person who cuts off all contact with an ex in order to move on with your life, go for it. If you're not the relationship type, well I've already expressed my opinions about that so I won't go there. But I believe everyone should develop a relationship with themselves first so that you can honor and respect yourself with every decision you make in life.

Namaste.